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I have had this home waxing kit from Bath and Body Works which I have used several times quite successfully. Last night, the kit turned on me. No really. It was like a cheap horror flick, one minute sitting silently in the pan of hot water, the next minute firmly attached to my upper lip. Let me explain.
The wax kit seemed pretty docile, and I figured it was one thing I could do at home without having to go to a pubic place and have witnesses watch the torment of hair being ripped off my face. And I was saving the cost of a beautician doing it for me. So I bought one some time ago and have been successful waxing my eyebrows a couple of times, and my upper lip once, too. As menopause has encroached on my face, it is necessary to do this. I think.
So last I heated the wax in the pan of water like the directions said. No problem. When the wax was heated pretty thoroughly I removed the pan from the stove top and let it cool a little. Into the bathroom I went, pan of water keeping the wax warm and workable. Following the directions on the insert in the box, I wiped my lip with the pre treatment stuff to clean the skin, and dabbed off the excess. Then I scooped a blob of the oozy, blue wax and gently smeared it across one side of my upper lip. It did not feel hot, just warm. Then I smeared more wax on the other side. Lastly, I plopped some dead center unter my nose, hoping to clear out all the random dark hairs that have taken up residence there.
After allowing the wax to set for a couple of seconds, I pulled one side of my lip taut, and peeled up an edge of the wax. It tore, plinking out multiple hairs as desired, but then-- Ow!! It wasn't coming off in the center. In fact, while I wasnt looking, the wax had oozed onto the lip itself, and was stuck there.
NO worries, I pulled at the opposite side, and had the same result: side pulled off as expected, but the middle was stuck. STUCK! Yikes!
Slightly panicked, I tried to lift the edge of the wax, and took a small chunk of my upper lip off. OW! My eyes were watering and my nose itched exquisitely and then I sneezed several times.
Standing in the bathroom and trying to remain calm, I grabbed the nearest washcloth and dipped it into the pan of hot water on the counter, hoping to soften the wax enough to pull it free. I stuck the washcloth under my nose, and held it there. Gently lifting the cloth, I realized that it was now also stuck under my nose. I thought of that scene where Debra Winger is dealing with a bird stuck to her head in "Forget Paris" and tried to look on the bright side: my washcloth was not flapping around like the bird did in Debra's hair in the movie. Not taking much comfort in that thought, I leaned down face first into the pan of water, reheating the washcloth enough to dislodge it from my face.
Now I had a fine mustache of blue wax, facial hairs, and turquoise terrycloth below my nose. I was still teary only not from sneezing, when my husband walked by the bathroom and glanced in at me. This was not going well. He sputtered, and laughed, and said, "What is that on your upper lip?" I shut the door. I could hear him chuckling, then howling on the other side of the door. I had to admit at this point there was an element of humor in this mess. But smiling hurt so I refrained.
I thought to myself, what mom would do? Peanut butter came to mind! Yes, peanut butter! that's it! Off to the kitchen I ran, avoiding my husband by turning my face toward the wall opposite the TV, which he was watching in the next room. Reaching into the cupboard, I pulled out the jar, hastily unscrewed it and dipped a finger in and rubbed on the peanut butter-- which turned out to be chunky! OWIE!! Now my lip had peanut butter chunks mixed in with the wax and cotton fuzz and hair and a small amount of blood from the peanut lacerations. But the wax was breaking up a little, so with several more swipes of the hot washcloth, I managed to scrape off the remains that were visible of my mustache, wax/peanut butter concoction and a little more epidermis. Ice packs are not mentioned in the Bath and Body Works waxing kit, but as a former user I highly recommend using one.
This morning, my lip still feels tacky and swollen, there are several scabs right in the center and it sorta looks like those women in Hollywood who have their lips blown up with injections of silicone. Ugh. If this is what it takes to be glam, I will pass.
